Hearts Like Ours
by sachi-sama
Summary: Defying fate has always been on Shizuo's to-do list. Izaya has his own plans.
1. Chapter 1

_"Could we try to reinvent?  
Feed the head with common sense.  
Through the streets and avenues,  
Climbing up the walls with you." – "Hearts Like Ours" by The Naked and Famous_

(Chapter one)

There was a time Shizuo thought he'd be incredibly happy with a peaceful life. And he was, for a while at least.

The first few months after Izaya left the city, things were incredibly mundane. Gangs had settled down, an uneasy calm settled over them all, and Shizuo enjoyed it, thinking to himself this was all he ever wanted. No one came after him to test his strength. No one meddled in his affairs. No one even bothered him.

It was odd to him that he sometimes missed the excitement of not knowing what was around every corner, but he convinced himself he'd get over it.

He didn't get over it.

Just a mere six months after Izaya left, things erupted again.

Gangs were at each other's necks, fighting over petty territory, the Yakuza were involving themselves more outwardly in the conflicts, and eventually someone, some kid, got shot and killed when things came to a head.

Shizuo had asked Shinra if Izaya was involved in any of it, and Shinra had shrugged, smiling serenely in that way of his.

"Izaya has been gone a long time now," he'd said. "You're the only one who ever mentions him, and you're the reason he left. I think it's safe to say he hasn't been involved in any of this."

It left a bad taste in Shizuo's mouth. It wasn't fair. He always thought Izaya was the barrier between them all coexisting but what if the city's natural state was to be in perpetual chaos?

After the eruption of violence ended with death, things settled again, but Shizuo was beginning to see a pattern, and sure enough, the fighting started again a few months later. No one ever outright challenged _him_ to a fight, either knowing his reputation, or just...not paying him any attention.

Shizuo looked through the crowd for that sharp smile and those cunning, playful eyes, but he never caught sight of them, and eventually he realized he was hoping he would. It made more sense for Izaya to be involved than to not. And more than that, Izaya was a common enemy. A familiar one. He knew how to handle Izaya.

After a year, it seemed no one even remembered Izaya.

Shizuo rarely saw the Orihara twins out and about, but when he did they always greeted him with excitement, usually babbling about his brother or how they were causing trouble in school. He remembered feeling unusually light when Mairu offhandedly mentioned Izaya for the first time in a long time.

"What'd you say?" he'd asked, looking down at her smiling flea-like face.

"I _said_ Iza-nii sent us new phones! So now we can send you much better pictures. You'd better send us some, too!" Mairu's expression gave away exactly _who_ she expected Shizuo to send pictures of, but he barely focused on that.

"He's still alive?"

"Well, _duh_. I mean, we rarely hear from him, but that's a good thing. He's a dick." She'd giggled at that, and paused when Kururi nudged her.

"Iza-nii is...caring in his way..."

Mairu made a face. "She's defending him because he gave us presents today. We can go back to hating him tomorrow."

The exchange seemed like nothing, but Shizuo had been _happy_ to know Izaya was okay. He wasn't a murderer after all, and neither was Vorona.

Izaya was probably just causing trouble in a new city, doing his usual thing on a new playing field. Somehow, it was a comfort.

That had been only a month ago.

Today, Shizuo is rushing to Shinra's due to some frantic messages from Celty about Shinra being stabbed and 'talking crazy', though Shinra always talks crazy and is probably fine. Shizuo is more worried about Celty, and when he arrives he finds them both in the bedroom, along with Kadota.

"Yo," Kadota greets right about the time Celty is bouncing into Shizuo's line of vision, her PDA shoved in his face to explain what happened.

"Stabbed by a patient? Well, what the fuck do you expect, working with the types of people you do?" Shizuo scoffs. He puts a soothing hand on Celty's shoulder and resists the urge to light a cigarette.

"How cruel! I take pride in my work!" Shinra sits up and winces a bit, assuring Celty he's fine. He laughs a bit and waves his hands in the air, clearly high as hell from the painkillers.

"Taking pride in patching up the Yakuza. Man, what a thing to be proud of," Kadota says, grinning a bit. Shizuo notices his usual gang isn't with him for a change, which is nice. Talking to Kawisawa exhausts him.

"Everyone needs a doctor," Shinra says. "Besides, it isn't the first time I've been stabbed."

"Not surprising at all," Shizuo says, and Shinra pouts at him.

"Hey! It was before I even became a doctor! It was back in middle school!" He's thrashing in the pillows a little, and Shizuo notices Celty is trying to make him shut up, and he can guess why. Middle school...

Shinra was friends with Izaya, then.

"I got stabbed for Izaya! Not in as bad of a place as this time, though," Shinra explains, pointing to the bandages on his stomach. "It was in the side. Still kind of close to the same spot!"

"I heard that rumor," Kadota says calmly, casting a single glance at Shizuo before looking back at Shinra. "But I heard it was Izaya that stabbed you."

"What!" Shizuo barks and Celty's shoulders droop before she shoves her PDA back in Shizuo's face, but he doesn't bother reading it. "You got stabbed by that—!"

"Oh, no, that's just what we said because Izaya was trying to build a bad reputation for himself. He didn't stab me. I jumped in front of him because he was causing trouble and..." Shinra trails off, frowning a little. "Well. He's my friend. I did it without thinking."

"To think you'd take a knife for that flea bastard," Shizuo grunts.

Shinra smiles pleasantly and starts to say something when his phone chimes and interrupts him. He picks it up and snorts a little, his fingers moving to type his reply to whatever message he received.

"Speak of the devil, they say," Shinra hums, and the implications hit Shizuo like a brick wall.

"You said you hadn't heard from Izaya," Kadota says before Shizuo can.

"I say a lot of things. I rarely hear from him. He just sent me a laughing face because I told him I was stabbed."

Celty's hands clench in fists and she types frantically, showing Shinra her paragraphs long tirade. He only laughs and waves her away.

"No, no, he knows I'm fine. Izaya is just—well. You all know how he is. He can't be so careless in showing his concerns. I'm telling him to fuck himself in reply, so."

Shizuo has never been able to understand Shinra's friendship with Izaya, but he can't recall actually hearing much of their interactions. Come to think of it, he doesn't think Celty has been around the both of them either, because she's often expressed to Shizuo that she doesn't believe someone like Izaya Orihara could have a friend like Shinra. But then...Izaya is friends with Kadota, too, right?

Kadota seems very uninterested in what's going on, like usual. He turns to Shizuo again.

"You must've been off today," he states, motioning to Shizuo's short sleeve shirt.

"Huh? Oh, yeah." It's obvious Kadota is changing the subject. "I got lunch with Kasuka and then I got Celty's message."

"I read that he's getting married to Ruri soon," Shinra says. "How nice. I'm jealous of him! I want to marry _my_ soulmate! Alas, she's making me wait!"

The mention has Shizuo looking down at his bicep where his own mark has always been. He's always wondered if maybe he's met his soulmate before, in passing, and scared them away with his strength. Or worse, hurt them. Or maybe his soulmate went off somewhere and died already.

He doesn't think about it when he can help it. All the outcomes seem bleak, and Shizuo has made his peace being alone.

"Hey, at least you found yours." Kadota's voice snaps Shizuo out of his reverie. "Some people never do."

"You'll find yours, Kadota! Your mark is on your _neck_. You'll be able to tell pretty easily, don't you think?" Shinra asks dreamily. His own mark is on his chest, which has to be where Celty's is. Shizuo often wonders how Shinra just knew Celty was meant to be his when he'd never even seen her mark, but then again, Celty has mentioned experiments Shinra and his father used to perform.

"Well, at least I'm not the only one who hasn't found theirs." Kadota doesn't seem to care much about it at all, and probably doesn't.

"It could be worse," Shinra says. "You could be stabbed."

"Yeah, or your soulmate could be long gone, like mine," Shizuo offers with a shrug. Kadota nods at that, grinning a bit. Shinra, however, laughs loudly.

"What's so funny?" Shizuo growls, and Shinra shakes his head, wiping moisture from under his glasses.

"Oh, man. Nothing. _Nothing_. But everything! You couldn't be more spot on, Shizuo. Well, you _could_. But you'd never really guess on your own, I don't think. Not if it's been all this time and you still haven't."

"Wait, what? You...know who my soulmate is?" Shizuo pauses for a moment before he's on his feet. "You know that and you haven't told me?!"

Celty gets between them instantly, but she's also facing Shinra, and even without a head, it's obvious she's demanding something of him.

"Don't give me that look!" Shinra wails to her. "You know I can't deny that look! I made a promise!"

"I'm gonna make a promise to break every bone in your body if you don't fess up!" Shizuo barks, and Celty puts her hands on her hips. Shinra visibly deflates.

"The two of you are way scarier than him anyway. What can he do? He isn't even here."

"Him?" Shizuo asks.

"Izaya," Shinra says.

There's a long, long pause.

"What's that flea have to do with this?!" Did Izaya scare his soulmate away? It sounds like something Izaya would have done, just to torture him.

Shinra merely points to Shizuo's arm with a sly grin.

"He's got that same mark. Why do you think he always wore long sleeves around you no matter how hot it was? Come on, surely you noticed before now." Shinra is the only one in the room who isn't dumbfounded. "I mean, it's obvious. He threatened to disembowel me if I ever told you, but my Celty wouldn't let that happen anyway! And I can hardly be blamed when I'm on drugs."

"Izaya is Shizuo's soulmate? _Izaya?_ " Kadota finally asks.

"It really wasn't obvious?" Shinra asks, seeming genuinely surprised.

Shizuo breaks the arms of the chair he's sitting in.

* * *

It takes Kadota and Celty both to stop Shizuo from pounding Shinra's face in for making such shitty jokes, and then it takes a long time afterwards for Shizuo's ears to stop ringing so he can actually hear Shinra's babbling. He excuses himself afterwards, not trusting himself not to snap and break Shinra like a twig.

Apparently Shinra had known since middle school and wanted to introduce them immediately, but Izaya never expressed interest or desire in meeting _anyone_ , so it wasn't until they all went to the same school that he was finally cajoled into a meeting.

And then Shizuo and Izaya actually met, and Izaya saw Shizuo's mark.

Shinra was threatened into secrecy, and Izaya never intended for Shizuo to know.

Shizuo growls and stomps on his cigarette as he accidentally breaks it. It's the fourth one he's crushed, and he needs to be careful because he's running low.

"But now you know! And you can finally decide if you want to do something about it!" Shinra had said with a loopy smile.

Yeah, right. As if things could ever be so simple.

Shizuo looks up at the building he's wandered in front of. Izaya's building, or his old one, at least. The lights are off in Izaya's apartment. Shizuo wonders if Izaya still pays for it, or if someone else lives there now.

" _Do it, you monster."_

Those were the last words Izaya had said to him, broken and bloody, his eyes filled with hatred. And if not for Vorona, Shizuo can't say he wouldn't have killed Izaya. He wanted to. Izaya was the only person he ever truly wanted to kill in his life, and Izaya made it clear their conflict wouldn't be resolved until one of them ended up dead.

For a long time, Shizuo wondered if Izaya left the city and then died anyway, succumbing to his injuries. And Shizuo had been truly remorseful, hoping against that fate, and he had been _happy_ to know Izaya was fine, off somewhere else.

Somehow, that shitty, _shitty_ flea is his soulmate? It doesn't seem possible.

He looks up when he hears footsteps, and he isn't at all surprised to see Celty approaching him carefully.

" _You ran off so quickly."_ Her PDA says.

"I couldn't hear anymore of that," he replies, blowing his smoke away from her. Even if she doesn't have a head, he at least has manners.

Celty takes a moment to respond.

" _Are you okay?"_

"No."

Her helmet cocks to the side.

" _Are you going to be?"_

"Dunno."

Her hand squeezes his, and he drops his cigarette and stomps it, suddenly not in the mood to smoke anymore.

"Did you know?" he asks her after a while.

" _No! I would've told you!"_ She waves her hands around and then shoves her PDA back in his face. _"I swear I would have! That's probably why Shinra didn't even tell me!"_

"Do you think it's the truth?" Shizuo asks, not knowing what else to say. He can't see her expression, but he feels her sympathy, and he knows what she's going to say before she says it.

" _Shinra wouldn't lie about this."_

Shizuo sighs and looks down at his bicep. His mark is small, at least compared to others he's seen. They can be any shape or size, but only one's soulmate will have the exact same mark in the same place. Izaya must have been careful to hide it so well. It's true Shizuo has never seen him wear short sleeves in all the years they've known each other.

"It's probably some prank from Izaya. Maybe he hated me before he even met me. He just had to fuck with me even then, and he's still doing it when he's not even here." He doesn't believe the words he's saying even as he says them, and he knows they sound ridiculous to Celty. To her credit, she only shakes her head.

Helmet.

" _He couldn't have known your mark before seeing it. I've been alive a long time, much longer than any of you, and I never saw a mark like mine until I met Shinra."_

Shizuo has never seen their marks, but Shinra has mentioned they resemble an amalgamation of Celtic runes. Shizuo thinks his own looks like a crescent moon or a messed up, sideways otter. The moon probably sounds more poetic, though.

"It can't be him," Shizuo says decidedly. "And if it _is_ , the universe made a mistake." He glances at Celty. "Right?"

She squeezes his hand again, and they both look up at Izaya's apartment. It looks taunting in its darkness.

* * *

He takes a few days off work. Tom is pretty understanding, even if he doesn't know what's going on, and Vorona is more than capable of taking care of things anyway. Shizuo spends his time holed up in his apartment, smoking too much and brooding about his situation.

Shinra sends him a nonstop chain of messages, all begging him not to repeat what he was told to Izaya or anyone that knows Izaya, because Izaya would kill him, probably in a horrible way. Shizuo ignores them and lets Shinra suffer like he deserves.

He tries to think of what he should do, what he _wants_ to do. He can't really pinpoint what he's feeling. He's never been good at handling his emotions, and his default is anger, because anger is something he's used to feeling.

Again, he settles on anger.

Why _Izaya? Why?_ Of all people in the world, why _him?_

More importantly, why should Shizuo be the only one suffering from this knowledge? That shitty flea thinks he can run off and leave and never own up to any of this?!

Shizuo will kill him first!

He spends time staring at the contact in his phone saved under "Flea". Surely Izaya would have changed his number by now. He always had more than one phone anyway, from what Shizuo remembers. Besides, what would Shizuo even say?

When he's tired of stewing alone, he goes back to work, where Vorona welcomes him back about as enthusiastically as she's capable, and Tom gives him a thumbs-up. Shizuo resumes his daily activity of slouching and trailing after Tom, but taking out his anger on dirt bags in debt really helps him relieve some stress.

"Wow, that guy went clear across the city," Tom says after Shizuo performs an impressive overhead toss. "Something on your mind?"

"No," Shizuo says gruffly, putting his hands back in his pockets.

"Senpai has loud thoughts today," Vorona says to Tom, giving a curt nod to Shizuo as if she believes she's helping him.

"Anything we can help with?" Tom asks.

"No," Shizuo says again. No one can really help him, not with this problem at least.

He catches sight of the back of two familiar heads in the crowd, going the opposite direction.

"But maybe _they_ can," Shizuo murmurs to himself before he takes off after the two girls. He catches them by surprise and grabs hold of their hoods. Mairu squawks and turns around with her fists raised, but she pauses when she sees it's Shizuo.

"You almost got decked in face!" she says, grinning up at him. Of the twins, she's the one who reminds him more of Izaya. Her eyes are always alight with mischief, just like the flea's.

"Wouldn't have felt it anyway." He shrugs and lets them go.

"We saw you throw that guy. We sent a Snapchat to Iza-nii."

Shizuo decides the most direct way is the best way.

"Where is he?"

"Huh? Who? The guy you threw? Probably across the world! You really threw him far!" Mairu giggles and mimics a throwing motion. Kururi only stares up at Shizuo.

"No. Izaya. Where is Izaya?" Shizuo asks, watching both girls' eyes widen.

"We don't know," Mairu says.

"Secretive..." Kururi adds.

"Are you going to finish him off? You're not, right? I mean, he's a dick-hole, but we need him alive. He's _loaded_ and he buys really nice presents when he wants," Mairu says. Even with her words, Shizuo can tell by her expression she cares about Izaya, even if it's only a little.

"No, I just—need to talk to him. It's...important."

Their heads both cock to the side in unison. It's kind of adorable.

"We haven't seen him once since he left. He sends things from all over. We think he's traveling."

"Overseas," Kururi tacks on.

"Oh," Shizuo says, feeling more disappointed than he'd like to admit.

"He's probably been back a few times, though. He still keeps tabs on what goes on around here," Mairu says.

"You think he'd come back and not visit you guys?" Shizuo asks, confused. He sees Kasuka whenever he can, but then again, he doesn't pretend to understand the Orihara family.

"Iza-nii wants to be perfect. We don't see him when he's less than." Mairu shrugs like that made sense while Kururi nods. The confusion and disappointment must show on Shizuo's face, because Kururi puts a hand on his arm in a feather-like touch that might be meant to be soothing.

"Soulmates," she says.

"Huh?! You knew about that?!"

"We lived with him for years. You really think we never saw his arm?" Mairu asks, rolling her eyes.

"I thought at least _you two_ would say something!" Shizuo growls.

The girls share a look.

"We tried before, but Iza-nii got really upset. Like, _really_ upset. I thought he was seriously gonna lock us in the basement like he always threatened. He stabbed a knife through the wall and almost got the neighbors to call the cops on us. It was pretty intense," Mairu explains. "He never gets like that, even when we really make him mad. So we decided it was best to let you guys work it out."

"You're both stubborn," Kururi says, and Mairu laughs.

" _That's_ an understatement!"

"Hey," Shizuo says, offended.

"I mean, you're soulmates and you always try to kill each other. That's the Everest of stubborn."

" _Hey,"_ Shizuo repeats.

"Izaya also has a mole on his butt. In case you were curious about other marks." Mairu's smile is more of a leer at this point.

"Oh, my god. I'm leaving," Shizuo says.

"Wait! Do you want his Snapchat?" Mairu asks. "He changes his number all the time, but this has been his account for more than a year now." She shows Shizuo her phone and points at the name "dorian-witness". Or course Izaya would have a weird ass name, but it's not as strange as it could be.

"Thanks," Shizuo mumbles.

"Do you even _have_ a Snapchat?"

"No."

"Can we pick your name?!" Mairu asks excitedly.

"No!"

"You're such an asshole!"

He leaves them to their pouting and stalks back over to Vorona and Tom, who thankfully don't ask him what that was about.

In the end, he doesn't send anything to that Snapchat, because he doesn't know what to say, and he doesn't understand how it works.

His next course of action is to walk past Izaya's apartment daily, just in the off chance that Izaya might still visit, like Mairu suggested. Every night, for weeks, he stands outside that building and just waits. It seems no one else lives there, since lights are never on. That's proof enough to Shizuo that Izaya still owns it. A place that swanky would have no problem being occupied otherwise.

One night, over a month later, he stops by after a particularly uneventful day at work. Those days are usually Shizuo's favorite, since he doesn't _like_ fighting, but he _does_ like having an outlet for his anger, and Tom never lets him go too far overboard.

It's pouring down rain and it's pretty chilly outside, but Shizuo doesn't mind so much. He almost lights a cigarette before he remembers the rain will just put it out anyway. He sighs and looks up at the building.

The lights are on.

 _In this, the year 2018, I'm writing a drrr fanfic. Truly I am a creature of habit. I know we all need more soulmate stories._


	2. Chapter 2

" _This is a gift, it comes with a price._ _  
_ _Who is the lamb, and who is the knife?_ _  
_ _Midas is king, and he holds me so tight,_ _  
_ _And turns me to gold in the sunlight_ _." -"Rabbit Heart" by Florence + The Machine_

(Chapter Two)

Izaya has always loved traveling.

He's always been good about blending in, when he _tries_ to, at least. He loves observing people in their natural habitats, bustling about from place to place in their daily lives, never noticing how other people might be watching them fondly.

He didn't spend too much time in the cities. While they _are_ a hotbed for people watching, Izaya mostly wanted to stay out of the way while he recovered from his encounter with Shizuo. He visited outskirts, still flocked with tourists, of course, but also alive with natural scenery. Izaya doesn't _mind_ nature, it's just not his favorite, but he longed to roam about freely after escaping from the chair.

He chatted with locals, tourists, went inside overpriced stores and bought his sisters things, and tried his best to forgive himself for all that transpired before.

He's absorbed the shock of his failures, but sometimes they come back like a wayward boomerang and knock the wind out of him. It's all he can do to keep going.

He never intended to be gone for so long, but he never knew how badly he needed to get away until he left. He had plans to traverse around Europe next, but then that idiot Shinra had to go and get stabbed again.

Izaya sighs as he looks out the windows of the taxi. It's pouring rain outside and has been for some time now. He can't see any differences in the city, and it's a relief in some ways, disappointing in others. Life moved forward without him, but not enough to erase him. Not completely.

When his phone vibrates against his thigh, he ignores it at first, until it keeps vibrating. It's definitely Namie, and she's almost definitely pissed. He had her go and set up his office the way he had it before he left. He also suggested she clean it a bit, but she never responded to _that_ message. She rarely does. She's rarely fun.

"Yes?" Izaya answers, watching as a woman runs under an awning to seek shelter from the rain. She's wearing heels, suede from the look of them. They're ruined now.

" _That man was just here. In your apartment. I had to threaten to call the cops to get him to leave,"_ Namie says, voice void of any concern. Izaya frowns.

"Man?"

" _Heiwajima. I asked if he was here to finish the job, but he only kept demanding to talk to you."_ He can hear the amusement in her voice. _"How quaint. He missed you."_

Izaya cuts his eyes to the taxi driver, who isn't paying him any attention, and then he puts his head down, withholding a groan. Shizuo is _already_ skulking around? This wasn't supposed to happen so soon. Damn brute can never just do as Izaya expects.

"Missed trying to kill me, I'm sure. I'll deal with him later on. Is everything in order there?"

" _Yes. I looked into—"_

"Good. That's all for now. Your schedule will go back to the same as it was before I left," Izaya says pointedly, cutting her off. He's had this phone for too long now. He doesn't trust it to be secure.

" _Right. Deposit my payment up front. If that man kills you anytime soon, I don't expect to see my name in your will."_

She hangs up then, and Izaya scowls at the phone.

"Girl trouble?" The taxi driver asks with a smile. He's a balding man, but he doesn't look very old. There's no ring on his finger, but he has a small photo of two children taped to his dashboard. His eyes are focused on Izaya in the rear-view mirror.

"How'd you know?" Izaya asks pleasantly.

"I know that face! Just buy her some flowers and apologize. It'll work itself out," the man says with a laugh.

"Things usually do, in the end," Izaya says. He withholds the comment that buying Namie flowers would just give her something to eat, but the taxi driver seems to have enough problems.

Instead of being dropped off at his place like he planned, he has the driver take him to a restaurant close by, and he occupies a booth by the window. He's been here once before, with Shiki. It's a swanky place, but he can't bring himself to eat anything. He orders a coffee and keeps his eyes on the city outside.

He hates the way his body shakes. He hates the way he can't control it.

A recurring nightmare for months was Shizuo standing over him, laughing before he issued the final blow. Izaya always woke up with a start, gasping for air. It was worse when he couldn't walk, but he still has the dream sometimes.

" _Do it, you monster."_

It was only a little over a year ago, but it seems so much longer. Things usually do, in hindsight. Izaya was a different person then, and maybe he hasn't changed for the better, but he's changed enough to know he was wrong. His biggest mistake was ever believing Shizuo was anything more than a mere human.

"More coffee, sir?"

He looks up at the waitress. She's young, barely old enough to work here, and there's a blush on her face.

"Just the check, please," he replies, smiling at her. She nods and hurries off. How funny.

Rain is still falling when he journeys outside again, but it's a drizzle. Izaya berates himself for not wearing a disguise of some sort. He should have anticipated a wrench in his plans, since Shizuo has always been good for that sort of thing. He at least thought he'd make it home before Shizuo stalked over to kill him.

His building is only a block away from the restaurant, and he hurries as much as he can without actually running. His spine has healed nicely, but overdoing it always causes some soreness, and most likely will the rest of his life. He's just really not in the mood to deal with that tonight.

As soon as he passes the threshold into his apartment, it's like greeting an old friend. His computer is turned on, his screensaver the only light source. He sets his keys on the table and sighs softly, turning to lock the door behind him.

Only it's open, and Shizuo is there, dripping water onto the floor in a puddle.

Things happen very quickly after that. Izaya jumps backwards, his knife out in a flash, and Shizuo is catching his arm, holding it tightly, glaring down at him with dark eyes that look almost black in the low light.

"Show it to me." Shizuo is growling, and Izaya can't think of what he means, is too busy willing his heart to slow down. He feels like a trapped rabbit staring into the eyes of a wolf.

"Let _go_ of me! You'll snap my arm off!" Izaya scowls and tries to wrench free, but of course that became impossible the moment Shizuo caught him. "Were you _waiting_ here for me? I haven't even been in Ikebukuro!"

"Your _arm_ , show me your arm! Come on!" Shizuo tries to pull at Izaya's coat, which gives Izaya time to slip out of it and fling himself halfway across the room.

"Get _out_ , you beast! I have no plans to be near you, let alone in the same room. You got what you wanted. So—"

"Fuck that! Show me your arm! I won't believe it until I see it!"

Only then does Izaya realize the implications. He runs his tongue along the backside of his teeth, tries to think of a way out of this.

"See what?" he asks to buy time. The hairs on the back of his neck stand at the noise of fury Shizuo makes.

"Your _mark!_ Your soulmate mark, I-za-ya!" The syllables are drawn out. Shizuo has always wielded Izaya's name like a weapon.

"I don't have one," Izaya says.

"Like hell! Fuck that! Fuck _you!_ Roll your sleeve up or I'll rip your goddamn shirt off!"

Izaya remembers Shizuo's mark is on his right arm. Shizuo is an idiot, and him being so angry could actually work well in Izaya's favor.

He slowly rolls his right sleeve up, revealing his bicep. His unmarked bicep. Shizuo stares at it dumbly, his breathing slowing down as his eyes narrow.

"See? Nothing. I would have it the same place as you if—"

"The other one, then," Shizuo spits. Izaya freezes.

"It...would be the same arm, Shizu-chan."

"No. It can be either arm. Either leg. Kasuka's is on his left ankle, and Ruri's in on the right."

Izaya hadn't planned for Shizuo to use logic. If the beast can learn, Izaya truly misjudged him.

"Surely you didn't come here to make me strip," Izaya says, and Shizuo huffs before storming towards him. Izaya sidesteps him and backs away again, his eyes darting for the door.

"Show me the damn mark! Shinra already told me! You being sketchy about it only proves it more!" Shizuo yells, swiping at him again.

Fucking _Shinra_. Or course.

"Shinra's a liar. You've known him long enough to know that," Izaya says.

" _You're_ the damn liar, you shitty flea. Where'd you even go, huh? Off to ruin other lives?" Shizuo lurches at him again, and Izaya jumps over his coffee table, almost making it to the door before Shizuo blocks it.

"Yes. I'm horrible and as bad as you always believed, so wouldn't you rather die than find out someone like me is your soulmate? Wouldn't you sleep better never knowing for sure?" Izaya fingers his knife, glaring up at Shizuo. Lighting flashes outside and illuminates them both for a split second.

"The not knowing is what's the worst thing about it."

Izaya blinks at him, and then laughs a little.

"I'd have thought you'd be used to it by now. The not knowing things."

Shizuo bares his teeth and stalks forward again, and then he...pauses. Stops.

"No," he says. "You're trying to make me mad so I'll let this go. It's not gonna work."

"That's twice I've seen you use critical thinking and real world applications tonight, Shizu-chan. Did you take a class while I was gone?" Izaya asks.

"Yeah, a class on seeing through your bullshit," Shizuo says. He raises his fist, and Izaya instinctively backs away to avoid it, his eyes trained on Shizuo's hands. Shizuo takes the opportunity to move forward, and Izaya slashes his knife blindly, too afraid of what might happen if he gets caught again.

He feels when his blade meets skin, and he stops pushing forward, his eyes widening.

His knife is stuck halfway through Shizuo's palm, blood pouring from the wound.

"Ha! Got you!" Shizuo exclaims proudly, his fist clenching in Izaya's shirt and lifting him almost off the ground. "Get out of this one, I-za-ya! You'll have to take your shirt off, and then I'll see anyway!"

"You...have a _knife_ in your hand, and you've still got a one-track mind?" Izaya squirms, reaching for another blade. Shizuo lets his shirt go and instead catches his wrists, pressing him backwards until Izaya feels the cool surface of the wall at his back.

" _Stop._ I didn't come here to fight you," Shizuo says.

"I can feel your blood seeping into my shirt, you disgusting Cro Magnon asshole!" Izaya spits, not okay with any of this. Shizuo's right hand is closed around his left wrist, smearing blood as he pulls Izaya's sleeve up, his dark eyes never looking away from Izaya's.

Then he finally breaks eye contact, looking down at Izaya's arm.

Izaya used to entertain plans of covering the mark. He read stories about people getting tattoos over their marks, heartbroken people who lost their soulmates to death and didn't want to look at the reminders of their lost loves. The mark always shows back up eventually, shining through the tattoo, no matter what color ink. It isn't something that can be covered or forgotten.

He's long since looked at it as a curse.

Shizuo seems to be thinking something different as he gazes down at the mark with gentler eyes than Izaya's ever seen him with. He touches Izaya's skin almost tentatively, his bloody fingers smearing over the crescent moon shape and turning Izaya's pale skin crimson.

"I should've known," Shizuo says softly, clearly to himself and not Izaya. "The world loves fucking me over. It couldn't have been anyone but you."

"You got what you wanted," Izaya says, and Shizuo looks at him like he just remembered Izaya was actually present. "Leave."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Shizuo asks, and he has the nerve to look offended when Izaya laughs in his face.

"Yes, how might that conversation have gone? What would you have said? Would things have been different? Do you think it would have stopped you from beating me within an inch of my life?"

"Yes! I mean—shit, I deserved to know! You owed me—!"

"I owed you nothing then and I owe you nothing now! Nothing! This means nothing to me! Do you understand? This mark, this _curse_ , has meant nothing to me for years! I don't think about it. I don't _remember_ it." Izaya smirks when Shizuo growls lowly at him. " _You_ mean nothing to me. I don't even hate you anymore. I feel nothing for you."

"Bullshit. You wore sleeves all those years, fearing I'd see it, didn't you? You wanted to ignore it, but couldn't. You aren't as hard to read as you think you are." Shizuo's eyes haven't left Izaya's mark.

It's infuriating.

"So now what? What do you _want?_ What'd you expect to get out of this? Are we going to exist happily ever after now? Is that's what's in your basic caveman brain? We almost killed each other! Did you forget that, or—"

"God, shut _up_. You talk too damn much."

Shizuo finally drops Izaya's arms and moves back, glaring at his still bleeding hand like it's an inconvenience he's only just remembered.

"I don't know, okay. I don't know what's next. You piss me the fuck off, and that's not ever gonna change. But—fuck, we can't ignore this!" Shizuo's eyes go right back to the mark, and Izaya yanks his sleeve down. Shizuo very nearly _pouts._

"Ignoring it is exactly what we're going to do," Izaya says.

"People go their whole lives without ever finding their soulmates," Shizuo says like it matters. Like it's important.

"I'm aware. And lucky them! If only we had been as blessed. You're aware this is the longest conversation we've ever had without trying to kill each other? You really think I'm your soulmate?"

"Honestly, I'm thinking the universe made a giant ass mistake," Shizuo mutters. He reaches for his cigarettes.

"No smoking in here! Go outside!"

"It's _raining_ outside."

"Then go _home_ and smoke! Why are you still even here?!" Izaya wants to shower, and immediately. He feels Shizuo's blood drying on his skin.

"Because I don't trust you not to vanish if I leave!"

"This is rich. You're always telling me to go, and now you don't want me to because of some mark. I _knew_ you'd buy into this entire charade like it was fate. It's exactly why I never wanted you to know." Izaya picks his coat up off the floor and drapes it over the back of a chair.

"It _is_ fate. I'm just not happy about it."

Shizuo stands there, crossing his arms and looking furious, still soaking wet and bleeding. Izaya pinches the bridge of his nose. He hasn't had a headache like this since the last time the twins stayed the night at his place.

"Here's a thought. At least go home and smoke and groom and hibernate like other beasts. There's no need to stand there scowling at me like I'm responsible for this."

"I don't like it," Shizuo says, and he doesn't elaborate because of _course_ he doesn't.

"Wonderful input as always, Shizu-chan. Truly you're a scholar, the greatest mind in the world since Hawking's death."

"Stop being an asshole! You're back because you're in trouble, aren't you?" Shizuo asks, glowering like he doesn't like that thought.

"In a manner of speaking," Izaya says.

"Are they strong?"

"Somewhat."

"Alright. Shitty, vague as fuck _flea._ Fine. Don't leave, and don't die. And also, fuck you." Shizuo slouches and and goes for the door before he pauses. "Wait."

"What _now_?"

"Give me your number. And it'd better be the real one."

Izaya huffs and takes Shizuo's phone, wincing at the blood on the case as he enters his number. He considers putting a fake one in anyway, but Shizuo will probably call it as soon as Izaya hands it back.

"Good. See ya," is all Shizuo says before he leaves. Izaya doesn't know what makes him madder, that Shizuo trusted him enough to enter a real number, or that he himself didn't even try to enter a fake one.

Furious beyond belief, he picks his phone up and calls his _dearest_ , closest friend.

" _Izaya? Are you actually calling me?"_ Shinra's voice answers.

"Shinra. How's that stab wound of yours?" Izaya asks.

" _Oh, wow, are you really worried? It's fine. Celty is even playing nurse! It's so cute. I was tempted to get her an outfit, but she was really against it."_

"That's nice. So, you'll never guess who I just saw. Shizu-chan! Can you believe it?"

There's a long pause on the other line.

" _Oh. Uh...you're home? You should've said!"_

"I like to travel without expectations. Are you sitting down? Are you comfortable?" Izaya asks, moving around the kitchen to brew himself some hot water for tea.

" _Um, yes? I'm as comfortable as someone with a stab wound can be. Remember how I'm injured! You wouldn't threaten an injured man, right?"_ Shinra asks, and Izaya laughs.

"Oh, my dear Shinra. I just want you comfortable while you sit there and listen to all the horrible things I'm going to do to you when I see you again."

* * *

 _Heeeeeeey this is a dying site. We all hear it dying. I post here because I get a lot of random reviews and follows and...if you guys wanna talk to me, my ao3 is a lot more interactive! Also my tumblr name is sachigram. I see all of you! I don't ignore any of you! Much love!_


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